He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
