I got chris browned last night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
