I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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