His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
