Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
