Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
