i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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