I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
