If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
