; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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