Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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