We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
