I don't remember. Are we still dating?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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