They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
