Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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