i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
