Kiss
Puke
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
