Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
