you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
