Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
