my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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