Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
