i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
