: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
