The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
