dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have fence marks all over my body
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
