ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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