I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
