Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
