I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
