so explain again why im purple
no
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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