the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
