I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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