this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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