Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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