i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
