Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm really busy with my period
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