he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
tell me about the eggs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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