no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
