it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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