i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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