we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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