if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize