I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
