I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
