i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
