you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
