Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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