He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
