Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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